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A dream that was compromised for an Engineering degree

A dream that was compromised for an Engineering degree

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Dear Mom and Dad,

Hope you are enjoying the summer and all its charm. Here all are either traveling or enjoying a vacation with family, but I have neither holidays nor vacation. I do not know when I will go to bed and when I do, it is just one or two hours gap and again I am back in the office on my work table. My life is hectic as always and I can feel the numbness increasing emotionally and physically due to lack of rest and recreation. My job demands that. I would never suggest anybody to opt for a career in Engineering though we earn more than other professionals but, the fact is that we are glorified human machines, we do work with computers and other devices which have no brain, emotions and sensibility. I feel enslaved to machines as always. We depend too much on devices which are not required at all, but as the world is moving, we also need to swim with the tide. We lead envious lives, the so-called westernized and corporate life. It has nothing to do with the simple life we had in the past. Everything is so artificial; everyone is involved in a mad rush to prove that they are smart and more intelligent. The AC rooms in the office or the cozy chair does not attract me at all.

Here in the city all are so immersed in their life that they cannot even think of moving out to a distant village. Here they enjoy DJ parties, shows, shopping and killing time with gadgets of all kinds. I have nothing against them, but I always feel I have had an opportunity to live in the countryside and play with children there, relish their food items, and walk barefooted in the mud and come back home drenched or hum a song along with the patting and rhythm of the rains.

I always wanted to be a writer and journalist.I wanted to work with the downtrodden and the oppressed, but our society does not accept such models, so you discouraged me citing examples of Journalists being targeted by corrupt politicians. But still my desire to become a writer is still alive and I would have been serving the society, giving voice to the aspirations of people as a Journalist. It remained a pipe dream for me.

I have achieved everything that you wanted me to be, but I never shared my thoughts with you. I am not the one meant to spend the entire life in the concrete jungle, pollution, endless traffic and hurry burry life. Today, when I look back at the engineering job, it has given me all the comforts in life and material benefits which every parent wants their children to have, I am thankful to you for that. Today a lot of people regards me as a role model and achiever to emulate, but I have no happiness in my job. I feel emotionally fatigued. I have no life.

I wanted a highly creative life and wanted to be around the ordinary people and serve them, but you denied me all that, maybe I was not meant for that. But you can always be proud of me as a successful Engineer having handled many projects in India and Abroad successfully. I am successful in my career because my family demanded that from me. But if at all I get a chance to rebuild my career, I would opt to become a journalist and writer and to serve my country and people.

Include me in your prayers.

Love always,

Ashish.

 


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