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Five things to do when you are being compared to others

Five things to do when you are being compared to others

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Now, let's face it, whether it is your younger sibling or older, your classmate or your neighbor next door; your parents, relatives and even family friends will never stop comparing you. Yes, even if you are the topper of the entire CBSE board. Do whatever, be whoever, there is always going to be someone else who's better than you in one way or other.

Though it isn't correct or fair, try to understand why your parents compare you to others. It is far from being personal or because of their flailing faith in you. It is mostly a socially hard-wired response which is driven by fear, ego and culture. All said and done; no reason is good enough to justify the hurt it causes you. While you can never escape the stress it causes you, there are a few things you can do to ensure you either obliterate it from your life or use it to challenge yourself.

  1. Set your own standards: This is the grown up way. Identify what truly constitutes as a success for you. Once you find that out, the insults, the comparisons all fade away. Be confident enough to work towards your goals without letting these tiny things worry you.
  2. Agree: Just keep nodding and agreeing to everything your parents say. "Yes, she is a better student." "Of course, he is more hard working than I am." Sooner or later, people will figure out, get tired and let go!
  3. Accept and analyze: You could also analyze the truth behind these comparisons. Try to compare them with your own set of standards and goals (defined as per the first option) and check to see if there is any space for growth or correction. If there is, accept it and work on it.
  4. Talk it over: Open the gateway of communication with your parents (you can just ignore relatives unless they are really important to you). Explain to them how stressed you feel when you are compared to others. Things may not change overnight but including your parents will help in the longer run.
  5. Ignore: Finally, if nothing works or you are not too bothered, simply IGNORE. Tune out everything and just be yourself!

Finally, though not a recommended option, "Turning-the-tables-on-them" might be a good way to crack the tension and lighten up the situation. Just be careful in picking the right moment!

 


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